Watercolor.

Ever since I can remember I painted. I used to go to Art Class every thursday from age 5 to age 14. And I hated it. The teacher was very gifted, but not so much talented dealing with kids. The one sentence I still remember her always saying was "In Art, there are no mistakes!" and whenever she came around looking, she would stop behind me and literally say in the loudest voice she could possibly make without yelling: "Wrong! Everything wrong! Horrible, better you start all over again!" I hated that class. I'd much rather spent my days running around with my friend, climbing up trees and dressing up dolls than sitting in that class and getting told that I made everything wrong. I never stopped painting and drawing and sketching though. I doodled my way through classes in school and I even have some exam papers flying around were teachers commented, that I did great, but it would be nicer if I would invest the last minuted in reading what I've written and correcting a few mistakes than doodling in the corners. Oh well, I guess they never had so pretty exams to check.

I used to be afraid of color. I love color in clothes and rooms and in general, but I was terribly scared of painting in color. I would always use my pencils instead of dipping my brushes in some red or yellow or blue. I guess part of that is because I can still hear my Art Teacher say that I did wrong. But with pencils you can always erase your mistakes. It wasn't until 3 years ago that I gathered the courage to try out real paint again. First I just used black and white and experimented with a few portraits in Acryl. Those experiments only lasted a few months, then I gave up again. It just didn't feel right. 

Last Summer I spotted Sketchbooks in my nearby store. I just put one in my cart without second guessing it. A few days later I went to visit my parents and when I was shopping with my Mom I went ahead right into my favorite craft supply store in my hometown and bought a watercolor travelling kit. I never regretted it once. The first sketches were just some flowers in my mothers garden. It took me a few pages but then I began painting things and scenes that came into my mind, mostly things I related to lyrics from my favorite songs. Usually I would write the lyrics with a sharpie right over the finished page, turning into kind of an art journal.

I grew to love painting with color. Filling one page doesn't take long and it is something, that calms me down after I get upset about something. It empties my head when I listen to a song and there is this certain picture in my mind that wouldn't go away. Art is something beautiful. I always knew it, but for a long time, I was afraid to embrace it the way I wanted to, the way I felt the need to. I love dipping my paint brush into water and after that into color, letting it drip onto paper, watching it bleed together with other ones until there is so much movement that it literally twirls. I love challenging myself to be accurate when drawing a face on that little page. I cherish the gift of Art. And I am glad I have finally overcome my fear of doing so.